You’re not alone!

Dear fathers,

At Nothing Left to Lose, we understand the challenges you may be facing in your journey as parents. We want to address a sensitive issue that some of you might be going through – Hostile Aggressive Parenting (HAP) and Parental Alienation.

You are not alone in this struggle. Many fathers have experienced similar situations, and we recognise the emotional toll it can take on you and your relationship with your children.

Hostile Aggressive Parenting occurs when one parent, often the mother, engages in behaviours that create hostility and tension between the children and the other parent – that’s you. This can manifest in various ways, like bad-mouthing, limiting communication, making false accusations, or even interfering with visitation and access rights.

Parental Alienation is a result of HAP, where your children may begin to reject or fear you, influenced by the negative remarks and actions of the other parent. We know how heartbreaking and frustrating this can be.

Research indicates that Parental Alienation can have long-lasting effects on the mental health and well-being of both children and parents. However, we believe that acknowledging the problem and seeking support are the first steps towards positive change.

While there are no one-size-fits-all solutions, there are some general strategies that you can consider:

1. Seek Professional Help: Reach out to a family therapist or counsellor experienced in dealing with Parental Alienation. They can help you cope with the emotional challenges and find ways to improve the situation.

2. Document Everything: Keep a record of all interactions and incidents related to your access to the children. This documentation might be useful if you need to present your case in court.

3. Maintain Calm and Consistency: It can be incredibly tough, but try to stay calm and consistent in your love and support for your kids. Be there for them emotionally, even if physical access is limited.

4. Educate Yourself: Knowledge is power. Learn more about Parental Alienation and HAP, as understanding the dynamics can help you cope better and make informed decisions.

5. Connect with Supportive People: Seek out other fathers who have faced similar challenges. Support groups or online forums can be excellent places to share experiences and find encouragement.

6. Consider Legal Advice: Depending on the severity of the situation, consulting with a family lawyer might be necessary to protect your parental rights and explore legal avenues.

Remember, the goal here isn’t to engage in a battle with the other parent but to focus on what’s best for the well-being of your children. It may take time, but staying patient, resilient, and loving will make a significant difference in the long run.

At Nothing Left to Lose, we are here to support you through this difficult journey. Don’t hesitate to reach out to us or seek help from friends, family, or mental health professionals to help you cope with the emotional rollercoaster.

Lastly, we’ve provided some articles below that delve deeper into this topic, so feel free to check them out for further information:

– “Hostile Aggressive Parenting: Signs, Effects and What to Do” (Link)
– “Parental Alienation” at Psychology Today (Link)
– “Effects of Hostile Aggressive Parenting on children” (Link)

You are strong, capable, and love your kids. Keep fighting for them, and know that there are people out there who understand and support you. Wishing you all the best on your journey of reconnecting with your children. Hang in there!

With warm regards,
Nothing Left to Lose Team

P.s. If you are experiencing acute emotional distress, please call the Samaritans of Singapore at 1767. If you’re outside Singapore, please call a hotline in your country,